Kya Aapki Book Mein Namak Hai?

Student now a days are messed up, obsessed with the books. Books, books and more books.

I remember a lecture of Mr. Ratan Tata at IIT Madras - He said, "I am successful today, because I focused on lesser things in my life". How Practical!

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Leaked Conversation between two students:

Student1: Dude, what's happening at NASA batch?

Student 2: Yaar, practicing Z category legendary problems, majja aa gaya dost - ek bhi question nahi hota, JEE syllabus bacha hai waise abhi..

Student1: Oh stud maaaan, NASA rocks!!

Student2: What's up with ISRO batch, huh?

Student 1: ISRO? Leave it macha. Please hand over the Z category problem sheet, you guys are doing.

Student2:  In return, you have to give me Bond's Calculus Book you bought yesterday for a day or so.

Student1: Bond's eh? I don't remember dude, I have at-least 13 like those. I will bring some for you.

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Preparation for JEE reminds me of the Snakes & Ladders Game, I used to play when I was a kid. Every time, I reached the top row of 90s, all the conditions used to somehow lead me to meet Mr. Big Snake at 97 and then according to the rules, I had to start again at 2. Crossing all the hurdles – Lecture Notes, Books, Supplement Materials, Sample Papers, Quizzes, Night-Outs and then Mr. Big Snake will appear from nowhere and you have to start all the way again. Frustration, Desperation, Cursing luck are parts of this game. You may feel like rolling with Mr. Dice in the form of Mr. Luck. 

One needs to be very patient playing this game. Remember, one day (the day of JEE) will be all yours – no snakes, no Mr. Dice’s tic – tacs and you may even climb the big ladder at 21 to reach 98 directly followed by the branch selection at IIT.

Tip: Consistency, Patience and Calmness are the keys to this game.

Preparation for JEE reminds me of Match the Following Game. I never succeeded in matching as one option in the left side always used to match with all the options on the right side and confused me was never able to sort it out. If you place yourself into the left side and categories – Study hours, sports, extra-curricular, rest and now-a days, internet on the right side; you would be confused badly. Yeah, that's exactly the situation is. But, choose your option on the right side decisively and determinedly.

Tip: Focus and Determination are the keys to this game.

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Feeling after crossing 97, matching all the options, is exactly the same — So what? , What next?

“Babu Beta ka IIT me ho gaya" Maa khush. Pitaa Ji Khush. Then?

You will feel like passing a very simple test which is leading to the multiple tests ahead and that’s what is called as LIFE.

So, why take so much tension for this test?

Don’t ever think that you are going to the open the gate of DESTINY passing this test. Some of you do not even know what you want to do in the future.

I am sure that Chanda Kochar, Indira Nooyi, Narayanamoorthy would have played these games of life with fun and as a learning experience rather than looking it as Mr. Sab Kuch, the everything.

I remember these lines of Harivansh Rai Bachchan from the book of class 5^th:

Koshish karne waalon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti

Lehron se darkar nauka paar nahi hoti

All the very best. May the keys be with you.

Be Simple, Be Honest. 

PS: When you get selected, get ready for the next test!

Ramu Kaka welocmes RBI's move

RBI cuts CRR effective March 10, 2012; yet again - Read here.

Question remains the same (as I asked a month back too)- CAN RAMU KAKA BECOME RBI GOVERNOR? (Click!)

To Rahul Gandhi, with Love

I have learned a very good lesson. "I own the responsibility for this...This is one of my defeats and I take it in my stride," said Rahul Gandhi, who extensively toured Uttar Pradesh and addressed over 200 rallies during the month-long campaigning.

Dear Rahul Gandhi,

I don’t know what you have learned from this election, but one thing is sure: Over-branding yourself can act as a boomerang and can spoil all your ambitions.

Do you know what the best thing about this Deepawali was? Ra-One promotions got finished and internet was free of stupid advertisements featuring Sharukh Khan which were placed on all the corners of every possible web page. Peace! Peace! Peace!!!

Do you know what the best thing about this Holi is? Elections in UP are over, results are out and there are no more idiotic comments and senseless poses of Rahul Gandhi in the newspapers. Peace! Peace! Peace!!!

  

Seems, like you have started preparations for General Elections 2014. Rahul.One, The Next Level:2014

I heard, you also tried to be RahulStar!!

When reporters asked you about your Girl Friend, this was your reaction:

When reporters asked about your marriage, this was your reaction:

Grow up dude! Grow up dude! Grow up dude!

When reporters asked you about the rising fuel prices, this was your reply:

When reporters asked you - "What have you done for Garib and Aam Aadmi so far" ?

You replied -->

1) I made them see a Helicopter!!!!!!!!

2) I drank their water:

but, Media called it like this ->

3) I helped the farmers:

4) I helped the workers:

5) I went to Jungles:

6) I went to their temples:

but people worshiped me!!

7) When people were shouting for Lokpal Bill, I was jogging:

8) When Anna Ji was on fast, I was also trying to burn calories:

9)I dressed: 

I dressed again:

Then, I dressed again:

I kept dressing:

And when people were busy, I kept checking my style, I KEPT DRESSING:

When reporters asked you - Rahul Ji, Whom do you consider as your role model?, this was your reply:

Look, some people take me as Amitabh Bachchan:

Some of them take me as Barack Obama:

But, Leave Mr. Osama, Oops.. Obama and Amitabh; I will tell you the Secret of my Energy:

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Dude, I am sad about you. When I googled for your pics, I got this:

Grow up dude! Grow up dude! Grow up dude! 

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Dude, If you are reading this, take my words very seriously:-

Politics of a Identity is a Loser.

It’s true, of course, that caste and religious affiliations run strong – and not just in Uttar Pradesh. But repeated invocations and reinforcements of that identity, in the manner that you did, was particularly unimaginative, and eventually proved a losing proposition. 

Work Pays, not Drama.

Whether it was your shrill campaign in Bhatta Parsaul, your showcase visits to Dalit homes, your resort to padayatra politics, they symbolized an effort to rule the news cycle of the day. If you want your Drama to be focused on, better be a theater artist.

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All, after this; Digvijay Singh added to your loss. Leaders like Digvijay Singh, who come out batting for you and ostensibly shield you from the big bad world of politics, actually do more harm than good.

Now, you have already mentioned that you have learned  your lesson, let's have a cup of lemon tea and focus on Union Budget 2012-13.

Thanks,

Manish 
Lots of Love.

Manmohan Singh happy with Chammakk Challo Style. O-Oh-Oo

Bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan got 37,000 plus followers on the first day when he joined twitter. His account got verified within a week. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh joined twitter on January 24^th  2012  , and has just got 38,000 plus followers till today and his account is still not verified by twitter.

In order to prevail over his degrading social profile and for an image makeover, Manmohan Singh has decided to join social networking website facebook. Read the news here.

Here is the leaked conversation between Manmohan Singh and so called famous personalities for the profile picture of Manmohan Singh’s facebook account.

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Manmohan Singh: Hey Guys, suggest me ideas for the profile picture. These are some of Madam’s (High Command) choice:

Karan Johar: Hey dude, after success of Agneepath, I was looking to launch you and Obama in my next movie: the sequel of Kabhi Khushi, Kabhi Gamm --- “Kabhi Obama, Kabhi Hum”. Why don’t you try this as your profile pic?

Manmohan Singh: Karan, you idiot, your movie will be a flop in Punjab, you should get Obama a turban. What say dude? Heh? Heh? Heh? Look at this:

Sanjay Leela Bhansali: Dude, something is missing without Sonia Gandhi. Maybe we should remake Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam. Please call my secretary if you wish to act. Here is the likely poster of the movie, “Hum India Loot Chuke Sanam”

Digvijay Singh: You all are born fools. Manmohan ji, you should put our family pic on your profile. Here is the one:

Montek Singh Alhuwalia: Oye Sardaar, ki yaar, aewen sadhi komm nu pullna nahi chaheda. Apni Sardaar Waali fottu lade yaaraa bhabhi ji naal :)

Navjot Singh Sidhu: HAHAHAHAHA.. ‘Woh Subah hi kya, jab suraj ki roshni naa ho...mere yaara...Woh profile hi kya, jab chamchamati profile pic naa ho’. Waah bhai Waah. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Mr. Manmohan Singh, you should wear a red turban with blue suit and green tie. Look at this. HAHAHAHAHAH

Sonia Gandhi: Hey, Manu, I am sharing some the pics from our yesterday’s visit to MGF mall, Gurgaon. Why don’t you upload one of them?

                                                                                                    Sona                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Manmohan Singh: Aaaaaaaaaaw Mam, I have a family. If you allow, I will display Emraan hashmi’s picture as my profile pic. Is it okay, ma’am?

Emraan Hashmi: Yeah man, go ahead, you can even kiss me.

Manmohan Singh: Shutup, you fool. You guys will never understand my problem. Doctors told me that I am suffering from a disease called as Constantomania. It’s almost impossible for me to change expressions on my face.

Guys, thank you all for your overwhelming support. Har ek friend jaroori hota hai!!

Sharukh Khan called me today early morning and he was talking about 2nd round of Ra-One promotions. I am going ahead with this pic taken during premiere of Ra-One. 

“Wanna be my Chammakk Challo, O-Oh-O” :

Come on, sing with me: Wanna be my Chammakk Challo..O-Oh-Oo..!!!

8 Annoying things young people do now a days

1.       Listening to music on their phone with speakers on

Next time you do it, I am going to punch you tight on your ribs

2.       Wearing “Being Human” T-Shirts and pretending to be Mother Teresa’s grandson

Tell me one thing, which animal you were before wearing these t-shirts?

3.       Saying  - Yo Man!!, Ma, Shit! ...

Whenever you say this, you make me proud that my mother tongue is Hindi

4.       Taking pictures of undeserving food and sharing it on social networking websites

Stop wasting your time and eat what you just made – bloody nonsense!!

5.       LOLing during a face to face conversation!

Please stop loling, it’s laughing, for God’s sake

6.       Stepping in Chewing gum all the time

You are still not better than Heera cow of Mahadevi Verma

7.       Updating on social networking websites about their day-to-day affair - "Just entered my kitchen, it’s a bit cold outside"

Take it straight - You are not Pamela Anderson entering her bedroom

8.       Giving awkward nicknames –  Hey Abhi! howz kissu and Monz!

I am worried about your future, really!!

Can Ramu Kaka become RBI Governor?

What does Mr. Subbarao suppose to do? 

‘Inflation numbers are up’ – ‘CRR badha do by 0.25 basis points’. ‘Inflation Control Mein Hain’ – ‘CRR cut by 0.25 basis points’.

Yeh toh hamne bhi padha tha school mein... 

Is that all he can do? If yes, in that case, even Ramu Kaka can become next RBI Governor. Oh Yeah!!